Ive heard just about every breakup excuse there is and I can tell you that this one is a doozy. My Ex Is Drinking/Partying After A Breakup. I met him online and things moved pretty fast, he was very loving and always calling me and texting me. But when you are in one with depression, an important thing to do is understand and learn more about the condition. I want him to be happy and to heal. After the breakup he still asked if I was ok and I started opening up on my issues and told him I was also guilty of bottling up issues, was not in the right space to handle his sons situation better and isolated myself and slowly becoming a weight on him. In my case my ex associated me with negative memories relating to issues with his son. If your boyfriend broke up with you because hes depressed or unhappy, you can be certain he didnt make a quick decision. We ended up being friends for a year, becoming best friends and he asked me out last July. Depressed Boyfriend broke up with me. Before you even think about being in a relationship with your ex or anyone else for that matter, you should heal your trauma. Ever since I found out about this, Ive been more understanding of his issues & whenever I ask how hes doing, he doesnt like sharing his thoughts or concerns regarding his depression with anyone (not even family). the thing was he could happily text me when he was horny or just for general speak. When family abandons you: what to do next? Hi, I'm actually going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. Thank you Zan it helped me to see why he did not try to have a talk to get through issues first. Its one of those things that can affect dumpers in bad and good ways. Her life was stressful everyday since then. .Set boundaries. And I also deal with depression but have been getting help and I know how he feels in a way, but I know how to talk about feelings and when things bother me, he doesnt. She is from the USA, and i am from France. Heres how you can tell if your ex-boyfriend is telling the truth. I wrote him an extreme long message saying all this about how much I love him and also about how I reallt badly dont want this to be a breakup especially since we both love eachother SO much. He does this because people close to him have a lot of expectations, requests, and sometimes even demands. We are going to look for counseling and a proper therapy with proper psychologists that can give her proper help and medications, and after that ill let her be and give her the space and time she needs, while still being there for her at any time and whenever she needs me. People with depression (especially guys) oftentimes internalize their problems. It can also make them feel like they have no energy, as well as being isolated. You can't wait around forever, but what you can do is try to live your life well and if things turn around, great - if not, you've still got your life. Im so confused and hurt and dont know what to do. But if at any time it seems like coping with this is being too hard for you, dont hesitate to look for help. Then the next day he messaged me saying he thinks he needs to go back to counselling and didnt know what was wrong. It might be difficult to put yourself in your exs shoes, but think about it this way. She had to rent another place close to her college. Understand how each of you is responsible for caring for others, but at the same time, the other person is not responsible for fulfilling your every need.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_13',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); If, at any time, you see it is needed, find couples counseling, this will help you both deal with the challenges that may come. Me and my girlfriend have been in a long distance relashionship for almost 3.5 years now. He said he doesn't know what he wantsso i said "so you love me, but don't know what you want?" Such people dont deserve your care and neither should you crave theirs. Get active. This doubt is inescapable and much more pervasive than the normal worries most of us experience over lifes stressors. So if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, dont immediately assume that his only issue is his mental health. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. But the truth is that theyre only being half honest. During our time together he wasn't really on medication, only when necessary. He also said he doesnt want to be friends or see me frequently because thatll just make moving on harder for him. In this post, well talk about what to do if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression. 3 days ago my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me. That was the only way he could stop investing time and energy in you and feeling pressured into doing things he didnt want to do. That was why he broke up with you in the first place. This will be great to learn more about yourself as an individual, and not only with the likes and dislikes that were related to the relationship.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',113,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Sometimes finding new places to go, such as art exhibitions, doing a small trip, can give you a clear headspace to think about what has happened and deal with it. My boyfriend of nearly 5 months just broke up with me, saying he was too messed up to be in a relationship. Sometimes dumpers desperately seek help and other times they do exactly the opposite. Its really sad and i was heartbroken that she decided that, but on the other hand i know it is for the best, i only hope she feels better and manage to heal, and be happy. In a study, full and half siblings at high risk for major depression, were compared with individuals raised in their home environment, those reared in adoptive homes (homes selected in Sweden for their high-quality rearing environment) had a significantly reduced risk for major depression. In the beginning we struggled as he had deeper feelings for me. Because they ran out of energy, they just take the blame and make it seem like their partners have nothing to do with their loss of feelings even though they know thats not the case. I miss him with everything I have and just a week ago I was so happy and now it all feels so bad, Im going through the exact same thing. I responded to you on the other article you commented. A woman paralysed by her jealous ex when he caught her in bed with a new man is now set to compete at the Paralympics. Have cried for 12 hours straight. Why Did My Ex Unfriend Me But Not Block Me? PsychReel do not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. He could just be dealing with stress and doesnt know how to handle his stress. Its not your fault I promise its me. We've been broken up for just about a month and not a day goes by where he isn't on my mind. I am quite confused and im unsure what to do, how to feel, how to react, so writing it down ease my mind. We did not see much of each other face to face due to work schedules and because of the other things above. Often, one partner may get so depressed he stops working, and that can lead to a cascade of other problems.. It has been commonly understood that positive symptoms of schizophrenia decline in later life, https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#Helping a depressed spouse. Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. He said he doesnt want to hurt me anymore than he already has. Hi there. It hurts so bad, I have never felt so much emotional pain before. I know thats what your emotions are telling you to do, but its not right. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. Mental health professionals specialized in the field of romantic relations are the ones who will help both of you cope with the situation and derive a solution. Even if i was still there as usual everyday for her while being separated by distance, her mental health slowly got worse. But i am so heartbroken. If youre facing this, it may be a good idea to seek the help of a therapist or other mental health professional. I have no desires to truly speak of, as nothing I do is rewarding or satisfying. This is exactly how anhedonia feels. Although it wont help you get him back, it will give you some clarity and perhaps even closure. They no more experience any feelings and emotions, nor do they realize how important you are in his life. Making someone happy is a difficult skill 3 More answers below Anonymous 7 y He is going to therapy. There can be many reasons why a person with depression might wish to end their relationship. Its what he needs to stop feeling the negative emotions he broke up with you for. My boyfriend of two months became very overwhelmed with events happening in his life that were out of his control. Take care! Depressed boyfriend on antidepressants suddenly broke up with me Tell him how his behaviors are affecting the relationship and most importantly ruining your mental condition. Ill work and focus on myself in the meantime, and will accompany her through this dark tunnel, whether it is as her best friend or her boyfriend, ill always be there for her and want her to be happy. Genes are not the only factor responsible though. Ive seen this happen many times and its honestly very sad. She doesnt know why she is feeling this way, she is upset because she wish she could give me a reason, she feels guilty that she is wasting my time. Manage Settings My trauma was far more recent and his was years old ontop of that he was dealing with some other personal problems which he asked me to be understand and considerate of, and I was. 5 months into the relationship, his father passed away and he became depressed and he broke up with me. About 3 weeks ago, my now ex boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of his depression. Shes turning 20 this June, shes quite young and have to experience and live all of this. Observe his actions. Hey, thank you for everything you have written, reading your messages makes me realise that I am not alone in this and there are other people living the exact same thing ! It is not even them. And he cant adult right now. Use of this website is conditional upon your acceptance of our User Agreement. Her 5 roomates that shares the house werent there at all, and due to covid some of them had to cancel the lease, so she ended up paying more bills than she planned before moving. Ask him what exactly he feels about his situation. This will let you know how aware they are of their condition, and how committed they are to getting better. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. Ankylosing Spondylitis: Weve Got Your Back, Whats Next? He broke up with me yesterday but wants to stay friends I saw him on Thursday and although he was already down, it went well. Depression works the same way. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-leader-1','ezslot_7',110,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-leader-1-0'); If you feel, after the breakup, there is still some space and desire to reconnect, especially if all this is new to you, communicating with them, trying to understand how they feel, and maybe being by their side in looking for help can be a good way to rekindle the relationship. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_12',117,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); And although sometimes they might not feel like their best self, a little support can go a long way, but again, keep in mind that not feeling good is something everyone experiences from time to time. Not only that, a person can become depressed because of the imbalance of their brain chemistry. Hi, I have been in a (very) long distance relationship for about a year and a half. I just dont know how I can help him because when I did go see him & call him even after the breakup, he didnt pick up my calls or reply to my messages. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks agohe suffers from depression and anxiety. So we broke up. going thru this right now.. a week in today and non contact with him im so sad and confused but also cant even begin to imagine what HE is going through this is really hard for me. As depression encompasses lack of hope and anhedonia, you should try to provide him hope, faith and commitment along with warmth and love. Is he dating anyone or talking to other women? Recently, his mother called him up and was very upset that his dad wanted to finalize the divorce with his mother and ever since then he has been distant and all. Part of me still hopes he will come back when he sorts himself out but part of feels I should cut my losses and move on. For example, he was friends with a childhood bully of mine who really tortured me and he just couldnt seem to understand why that hurt me. I just dont know how to stop missing him and start to move on. Shes going through a really really hard time and that affected how she felt about a lot of things in her life. Share your thoughts below. We had a great relationship so I thought. One might experience stressors in their lives in the form of mishaps,tragedies and accidents such as death of a close one, experience of a natural disaster,divorce,abuse or social isolation etc.People who suffer from chronic diseases like cancer,neurodegenerative disorders may also show symptoms of depression.According to DSM-5 environmental pollutants could be a possible cause too. Is it possible hell come back to me when hes feeling ready? Instead of talking about it, he (secretly) blames you for it and thinks you dont listen or sympathize with him. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. But this is related to some matters in his life and the relationship. Always remember that people who care about you will stay in your life and come to your aid. If his view of you changed, he might not as hell date other people. The only way through this is to be honest with him about how you feel without attributing blame. He is an honourable person, he has strong convictions and doesn't make hasty decisions. How Can You Communicate After Your Depressed Partner Leaves? boyfriend broke up with me because he's depressed But I know its not possible & it truly hurts. A person is diagnosed with depression if they have constantly presented its symptoms for more than two weeks.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'psychreel_com-banner-1','ezslot_5',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-banner-1-0'); Not everyone experiences depression the same way when talking about the frequency and intensity of the symptoms. If you need assistance for mental health issues, please seek expert opinion and assistance immediately.The information on this page is not designed to replace a doctor or physician's independent judgment about the appropriateness or risks of a procedure for a given patient nor does it represent a diagnoses or advice. 791. And although that is the case, the most commons symptoms of depression are: Depression can have a big impact on a persons relationship. These emotions are likely a natural part of losing touch with someone who mattered to you. If you are on the verge of breaking up or getting a divorce with your partner, the first thing you need to do is to understand the critical consequences of depression not only on the relationship but also on both of your mental health. Even if you cannot stay with your partner, please help them get proper treatment and medication. As a matter of fact, its only gotten worse because now youre getting frustrated as well. Advised his mum to take him to therapy too! Research states, this area of the brain is overactive in people with anhedonia. I could sleep and eat better now and could enjoy movie/books. As the title suggests, my (ex) boyfriend who struggles with depression broke up with me. He told me to focus on myself too and work on myself and whenever Im sad to use that as motivation. He says he doesn't want to cut off contact and I know he would be really sad if we did that. Whatever he does or doesnt do, dont take it personally and try to avoid finding out what hes doing. It crushed me because I love him still and wanted to make things work. She would text me less, we would spend less time together, she would not reply to me and ignore me, more and more as days passed. Fear of getting hurt: Sometimes, depression is so difficult to deal with anything else feels too scary. You deserve so much better, youll be thankful that Im leaving you. He was crying while saying this to me. If he wanted your pity and support, he would have expressed the desire to talk about the things he needed to stay in the relationship with you. It has happened to me too. Treat your partner with love, show him hope and remind yourself about his condition as an illness and that he does not have control over it. Looks like we went through this horrible experience on the exact same day. This COVID situation isnt helping at all, it changed our life and hurt our relashionship, as we cant visit each others and our daily life changed. It helps him focus on his issues and lets him not worry about yours. If He Loves You, He Will Come Back No Matter What! I also found out that he had stopped medication prior to the breakup because he felt like they werent working as he has started getting suicidal thoughts again (he has also written suicidal notes recently, however Im not sure if this is true or not). To me, it feels like everything accelerated so fast and I dont understand where his feelings went. Hello, my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday due to depression. Hell message you if he changes his mind. With them, you will build a great space of trust and support. I supposed telling the truth would make them feel even more depressed as theyd hurt their partners and bring a strong undesirable reaction out of them. Its not just people with depression who distance themselves from others. My emotions at present are like an R rated version of a Magic Eight Ball in the hands of an over-caffeinated child. Its not his fault, but the pain is making you feel frustrated, forcing you to appear out of character. When he broke up with me he was so cold and distant, as if he were a completely different person. When he finally decides to break up, understandably many feelings will arise. A condition in and of itself is not a reason to . But it is important to keep in mind that, while dealing with depression, especially if he is not under treatment, be it therapy or medication, he might be experiencing intense depressive symptoms, and that is what is controlling their actions and behaviors right now. And it is a grieving process. Boyfriend broke up with me because he has depression and anxiety As a result, he concludes that hes better off on his own and that he needs to run away from people to focus on himself. My boyfriend broke up with me because his depression and anxiety has I apologize for being so frank, but people with depression dont just have problems with themselves. She said she needs time and space to work on herself and she hopes that in time when she feels better, that well try and get back together, when shell have a clear fresh mind. He just knew he couldnt bear it. So lets discuss what are ways to cope with a breakup. Its something dumpers do to avoid dealing with a highly emotional situation. I told him I will wait for him while he works things out. You can find a therapist at BetterHelp who can help you learn how to cope and address it.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'psychreel_com-medrectangle-4','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-psychreel_com-medrectangle-4-0'); In case you are new to all this, lets understand a little about what depression is.